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Alexander the Great

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This article is about GritCult's view of Alexander the Great. For a general overview, see Alexander the Great on Wikipedia.

Alexander the Great
“Imagine if Alexander the Great had access to caffeine and nicotine.” (2 February 2025)
In the archive
PortalWarlords & Empires
Posts31
Retweets538
Likes9,892
First post25 January 2018
Latest post11 May 2026
Posts by year
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20193
20202
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Related

Alexander the Great is GritCult's yardstick for early achievement: the man who conquered most of the known world by 25 and died at 32. His most pointed posts measure someone against that timeline, whether the reader or even Caesar; the rest are mostly jokes and quote cards.

Views

The timeline is the point. Alexander conquered most of the known world by 25 [1]; at 16 he was left to govern Macedonia alone and crushed a revolt by tribes who assumed a boy could not hold power [2]. The comparison is pressed on everyone, Caesar included: when Caesar saw a statue of Alexander he wept, GritCult writes, “And you're crying about making friends” [3]. Modern complexity is not accepted as a defence. Alexander never had to deal with office politics, he conceded in 2019, but “this is just a convenient excuse” [4].

Death at 32 is turned against the modern fixation on living long. “Longevity is a new neuroticism”, he wrote in 2025: a long life is not the same as a good one [5]. Dying at your peak, he had argued earlier, makes you a legend in history, with Alexander and Kurt Cobain as two very different examples [6]. The short life is presented less as a tragedy than as part of the achievement.

Much of the rest is comedy built on the same contrast. His most shared post on Alexander simply imagines him with access to caffeine and nicotine [7]; another demands to know why modern men use shampoo when Alexander, who had great hair, did not [8]. The jokes work the comparison from both ends: what he might have done with modern stimulants, and why modern men need products he never touched.

Recurring themes

  • early achievement as the measure of a man
  • age refused as an excuse
  • a short great life over a long timid one
  • Caesar's envy as the model of ambition
  • jokes about modern softness

Notable post

The most retweeted GritCult post on the subject, with 361 retweets:

Imagine if Alexander the Great had access to caffeine and nicotine.
GRITCULT on X, 2 February 2025

Selected posts

All 31 posts in the archive about Alexander the Great, ranked by retweets. Select a column heading to sort.

DateRetweetsLikesPostMediaSource
2 February 20253617,884Imagine if Alexander the Great had access to caffeine and nicotine.Post imageView
9 December 202565885Longevity is a new neuroticism.

Alexander the Great died at 32. Just because you live a long life does not mean you live a good one.		View
11 May 202633245Alexander the Great was 16 when his father left him to govern all of Macedonia alone. The Thracian tribes in the north revolted immediately. They assumed a boy couldnt hold power...

He marched north with an army, crushed the rebellion, and renamed their capital city after…		Post imageView
21 July 202223199ALEXANDER THE GREAT HAD GREAT HAIR

ALEXANDER THE GREAT DID NOT USE SHAMPOO

WHY ARE YOU AS A MAN USING SHAMPOO?!?!?!		Post imageView
17 January 20231486THERE IS NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE TO HIM WHO WILL TRY. - ALEXANDER THE GREATView
16 December 20229175Imagine your future wife not knowing about Macedonian phalanx tactics.View
26 August 2022949When Caesar saw a statue of Alexander the Great. He wept.

And you’re crying about making friends. Npc sims characters fr		View
12 March 2021447THERE IS NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE TO HIM WHO WILL TRY. - ALEXANDER THE GREATView
16 November 2019317Alexander the Great never had to deal with the complexities of office politics. Or the systematic power dynamics of different bureaucracies.

The world is a lot more complex. However this is just a convenient excuse.		View
24 December 2019311thinking about alexander the great.

the gordian knot ive concluded is a metaphor for life.

"The knot was made from the smooth bark of the cornel tree, and neither its end nor its beginning was visible."		View
25 April 2021230Today I learned Alexander the Great was about 5 ftPost imageView
21 December 2019213How should a man be capable of grooming his own horse, or of furbishing his own spear and helmet, if he allows himself to become unaccustomed to tending even his own person, which is his most treasured belonging?

-Alexander the Great		View
15 July 20251100@noetic_healing alexander the great conquered most of the known world by 25View
5 November 2022138This is a great quote:

“I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave.”

— Diogenes

(as he was asked by Alexander the Great what he was doing when staring into a pile of bones)		View
14 October 2023130Reading a summary of the biography of the crown Prince of Saudi

He once said that he wants

To be the next Alexander the Great…		View
25 March 2022115IN THE END, WHEN IT’S OVER, ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU’VE DONE. ~ALEXANDER THE GREATView
16 July 202019I however may be wrong, and only looking at it through a specific lens, a good counter example would be Alexander the Great

Who was known as bisexual and at times androgynous, this goes to the BAP question of male beauty. Has this only now become political due to representation?		Post imageView
1 September 201818indo aryans had contact with Alexander the great

Chinese legacy of Confucian systemic bureaucracy can be seen in its variation of Marxism

I smell motivated reasoning

def freedom varied => democracy used to be land owning males
romans=/=byzantine

no slaves but had caste system		View
13 February 202117- ALEXANDER THE GREAT I'LL TRY ANYTHING ONCE, TWICE IF I MAY THINK ALOUDView
13 July 201813some reports of the two exchanging introductions:

"I am Alexander the great king."

"I am Diogenes the dog		View
5 February 201812There is nothing impossible to him who will try Alexander the Great ( BC- BC)View
7 June 201812if you decentralise america, then the china mutation of the ussr imperialist virus will just spread

decentralising america will solve its immediate problems

but the greek states banded against an existential threat, persia

but alexander the great centralised and spread		View
1 November 2020014when caesar was in spain, he was around his early 30s. he came across a statue of alexander the great, and wept because he felt as though he had accomplished nothing compared to alexander who at his age had conquered much of the known world.View
9 December 2022014Back of £50 Uber in central london. Full day out. Hardly slept. Have been sight seeing all day.

Feeling like Alexander the Great after he took an arrow to the side and had to be carried back by chariot.		View
24 July 202203@BowTiedAstrnaut @AJA_Cortes Also. Like if u die at your peak. You’re a legend in history like Alexander the Great or like kurt Cobain as Teo diffrent examples. So there’s that too. Lots of factorsView
20 October 202303Mbs quite frankly wants to be Alexander the Great

He says so himself.		View
25 June 202302SUFFICIT HUIC TUMULUS, CUI NON ....A TOMB NOW SUFFICES HIM FOR WHOM THE WHOLE WORLD WAS NOT SUFFICIENT. EPITAPH: ALEXANDER THE GREATView
20 February 201801alexander the great is from macedon, which is near turkey and bordered Phoenician and Persian empires, he was likely tan, or darkerView
25 January 201800- Alexander the Great I'll try anything once, twice if I may think aloudView
6 February 201800alexander the greatView
6 February 201800Lmaoooo. There were "white" ppl in ancient egypt Alexander the great conquered it - alexandria. Also where is egypt. N africa. Also close to arab and semitic states of history. Cross the sea from rome of which it later became a vassal. It wasnt totally white or black. Grey lmaoView

History

GritCult first posted about Alexander the Great on 25 January 2018, and most recently on 11 May 2026. Across the archive the subject comes up 31 times, most often in 2018 (8 posts).

See also

Warlords & Empires portal

References

  1. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (15 July 2025). alexander the great conquered most of the known world by 25. X.
  2. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (11 May 2026). Alexander the Great was 16 when his father left him to govern all of Macedonia alone. The Thracian tribes in the north revolted immediately. They assumed a boy couldnt hold power. X.
  3. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (26 August 2022). When Caesar saw a statue of Alexander the Great. He wept. And you're crying about making friends. X.
  4. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (16 November 2019). Alexander the Great never had to deal with the complexities of office politics...However this is just a convenient excuse. X.
  5. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (9 December 2025). Longevity is a new neuroticism. Alexander the Great died at 32. Just because you live a long life does not mean you live a good one. X.
  6. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (24 July 2022). if u die at your peak. You're a legend in history like Alexander the Great or like kurt Cobain. X.
  7. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (2 February 2025). Imagine if Alexander the Great had access to caffeine and nicotine. X.
  8. ^GRITCULT [@GRITCULT] (21 July 2022). ALEXANDER THE GREAT HAD GREAT HAIR ALEXANDER THE GREAT DID NOT USE SHAMPOO WHY ARE YOU AS A MAN USING SHAMPOO. X.

Further reading

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